I don’t want to eat a roast dinner for breakfast
Earlier this week I delivered training on ‘rethinking networking’ to a law firm. They do really interesting work, help individuals and companies during really stressful times and so have plenty to say. But like many professionals (from newly qualified to senior), they find networking uncomfortable.
For some, especially those who came through university during COVID, networking feels daunting (online or in person). Others question whether in person networking is even necessary anymore. And then there’s the quiet dread of small talk: saying the same things on repeat, floating from group to group, never quite landing in a real conversation.
We took networking apart — not to fix it, but to humanise it. We looked at different formats (industry, peer, social), online versus in-person, and unpacked why it often feels like a performance. We dropped the tired ‘hacks’ (yes, including how to “gracefully exit” a chat — there are kind ways to do that too), and focused instead on how to show up as yourself without feeling like you have to put on a mask.
We explored how to:
Share your story in a way that invites curiosity
Spot groups worth joining (and ones to avoid)
Ask the right type of open questions and how to provide answers with ‘hooks’
Leave behind the pressure to impress and replace it with the intention to connect
I still remember one partner telling me (a long time ago) that she would hide in the loo for the first 45 minutes to work up the courage to go into the room. She’s far from alone. That’s why there was no role-play, no scripts, just space to reflect, recalibrate, and be real.
Networking doesn't need to be about being the most confident person in the room. Sometimes it’s about being the most curious.
And yes, I do still believe in small talk, but only as a way to get to the good stuff: motivations, insights, shared challenges, unexpected common ground. That’s the bit that lights me up.
Credit to organisational psychologist Adam Grant, whose podcast on rethinking work inspired parts of this session. Always worth a listen.
